I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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