thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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