i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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