I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize