scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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