You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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