Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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