I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
