no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
