I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
