I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
