are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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