i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
