I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
