Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
