I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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