New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The power of my boobs compel you
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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