Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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