yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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