I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
