is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
