Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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