Your dad touched me again.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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