I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize