id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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