i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
