so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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