Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
