does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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