whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Randomize
