Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
