I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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