hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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