she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
