You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
