He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
