i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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