I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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