she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
soo... how was my night?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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