I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
