problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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