You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
