I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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