why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Randomize
