I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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