when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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