so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
