Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize