Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
