oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
