If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
