i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
