I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
did you just send me my own nude
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
