whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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