i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
