just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
