I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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