Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
