Me too!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
