thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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