My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
